Your Voice is Important
This post is not an easy one for me to write.
In fact I almost talked myself out of it multiple times.
I feel like it is important to share this because for some people, it may be the most impactful thing they ever get from me.
This story is not to get anyone to feel sorry for me or anything else, I’m just telling you what happened and where I’m at today.
Growing up, my parents did not have much discretionary income.
My dad was in the Army and there were four kids (clearly, they were lunatics).
So, they felt a lot of stress trying to provide shelter, food, and clothes for all of us (like all of us right?)
I was the 2nd oldest and my older brother and sister (third in age) clashed often with my parents.
They would speak their mind and spend hours trying to stand their ground.
It didn’t matter if they were right or my parents, the arguments lasted forever.
That lesson taught me that thinking, speaking, and doing anything outside of what your parents approved of was bad and a disaster.
I quickly adapted as a youngster and conformed.
I found it easier to do what I was told and be a good student at school so that I could spend more of my time doing what I wanted.
Even when I got in trouble, I would quickly apologize so I could get back to whatever I wanted to do.
I did excellent in school just trying to learn and give the response that got the most praise and least amount of negative feedback.
At some point here, I decided that thinking for myself would not get me where I wanted to go.
At age ten my parents divorced and I could not understand it.
I didn’t see my father for months and my mother was working full time and going out at night while my brother got stuck taking care of us.
He resented the responsibility and the change and took it out on me and my two sisters when nobody was around.
I can’t say that I blame him.
It became ingrained in me even more that what I wanted or thought didn’t matter.
My voice didn’t matter.
Over time this just became embedded in my subconscious and I acted accordingly.
I felt that nobody cared how I felt or what I thought and everything that happened to me either confirmed that belief or I dismissed it as something else.
If someone did care, then that person didn’t really know, or was weird or dumb.
I was exuding those beliefs clear up into adulthood without even realizing that I was causing those things to happen to me because of what I believed.
I got married believing that and attracted a spouse that lived up perfectly to my beliefs about someone who would be with me.
This is not an attack on someone else, it was just bad chemistry.
We ended up divorced later and probably for the first time, I started consciously realizing that maybe something was wrong with me or the way I thought or acted.
I lost several jobs, relationships, sales, and opportunities because of this belief in myself that I didn’t even really understand or know was there.
The point here is that many of us are carrying around burdens like this.
I have spent a lot of time working on dispelling this lie about myself.
It still creeps up from time to time, but now I’m much more aware of it so I can deal with it when it comes a little easier.
When, I first decided to start a business that would help people believe in their own abilities and find a way to live out their own greatness and dreams, it was a direct reflection of what I really wanted for myself.
Many people are torn down at their jobs or even in their homes and social settings and I just want to see them stand up and say “That’s enough!”
In all reality, who am I to put up a blog and build an internet empire and have any kind of impact?
Hasn’t that already been done by countless others who have better minds and stronger voices with so much to say?
What could I possibly have to say that would be helpful to anyone, much less a huge audience?
Well, that’s why I’m here.
I’m not them.
What I do and how I say things will reach different people in a different way and I hope for some of you it makes a difference.
I hope it helps.
Even if it just pulls you away from negativity for a few minutes, or helps motivate you to be a better spouse, parent, or son or daughter.
One of the deepest lies I believed about myself was that nobody cared what I thought or wanted to listen to me.
Now, thousands of people come here every month to read what I have to say.
If nothing else from this seeps in, just know that your voice matters.
You have impact and influence over others.
That can be for the betterment or destruction of those around you, so choose your words and actions wisely.
What you have to say could help one person or countless others to feel validated and important.
I know this is true for you, because it is true for me too.
Thank you for reading.