The number one motivator for why people take action or don’t is fear.
Napoleon Hill lists the 6 fears people have that keep them poor (not necessarily financially).
Fear of:
Poverty
Criticism
Bad Health
Death
Loss of Love
Old Age
These fears are our brains’ way of keeping us safe.
All these fears are present in everyone, but they may be disguised as other things.
This was a huge realization as it became clear why I was feeling so much turmoil and confusion in my own life.
I just ended a relationship of almost ten years when it finally became clear to me that fear was the real underlying reason I was staying in it.
However, I never actually felt those feelings I could articulate as fear.
The reasons I was staying felt like duty, moral obligation, concern for others, even love.
And although I still love this person, I realized I was lying to myself, her, and everyone else because I was miserable and being untrue to myself.
In reality, I was scared to leave.
I was scared what people would think or say.
I was scared how my partner would react and respond.
I was scared to be alone.
I was scared of change and the unknown.
I still feel some of those fears and others have proven unfounded as I stepped forward and made a decision that was difficult, but honest and right.
It hurts terribly.
I also see pain and confusion in the people around me affected by this.
I wish for it to be gone, but I know it will abide with me and them for a time.
The only way I was able to make this hard choice was realizing that the underlying reason was fear.
Once you see your opponent for what it is and can define it, it is much easier to defeat.
This has been eye opening for me as I am now searching other parts of my life where fear is keeping me from moving forward because I only see the disguise and it seems noble.
So, my question for you is obvious:
Where is fear holding you back because it looks like something else?
Your mind will fight you on this.
However, take a look inside and see where things feel amiss.
Where do you see yourself unaligned, unhappy, or unfulfilled?
What parts of your life do you see yourself trying to escape from?
Do you find yourself using addictions to escape reality?
These are hard questions to truly answer and your mind will try to keep you from the truth because it is trying to protect the status quo.
People tell me all the time they don’t have any fears.
I wish that were true, but if you believe that, then perhaps look at how it may be showing up in a way that doesn’t look like fear.
I promise you that it is there but requires honesty and strength to find it.
I wrote this post in hopes that other people in similar circumstances are able to see what perhaps they could not see before.
If you are constantly working on being y0ur best self and find that you keep hitting roadblocks that prevent you from becoming who you want to be, then perhaps you will find this helpful.
It’s really about being true and honest with yourself so that you can be that way with others as well.
This is a big key to success and happiness.
It is impossible to give to others what you won’t even do for yourself.
You will feel inauthentic to them.
Thank you for reading.
Phillip Adams