I remember when I had no hope and no ideas.
I had been laid off from a job I loved and that paid well.
It was a tech job and the tech market was hurting terribly at that time.
The jobs were slim and that industry had many people out of work with much more experience and credentials than I had at the time.
I came home and my wife was crying because she knew what was going through my mind.
How was I going to make ends meet now?
My brother-in-law was selling life insurance and doing pretty well, so he said he would help me get going if I wanted to change careers and try that.
Well, after about almost a month of study, I passed the licensing exam and started working with him.
It was horrible.
He had way overstated his success and I was absolutely terrible at sales, booking appointments, building rapport with people, etc.
I floundered and made very little money.
I felt like a total failure as a husband and father.
I thought I was trying hard, but honestly, my work ethic wasn’t great either.
During that time, that money stress and other problems I had with my spouse (mostly due to me being a mess), resulted in us getting a divorce.
I moved back into my dad’s house at 28 years old.
It felt like rock bottom, but it took me a while to see that’s how far I had gone.
I tried out different sales jobs looking for a good opportunity and at my very best got mediocre results.
During that same time, I got involved in a few different relationships and they were extraordinary failures due to my horrible choices (alcoholism and infidelity).
I couldn’t figure out why life was so damn difficult.
I finally heard a quote from someone important to me that really stopped me in my tracks.
He said, “Everyone is looking for the perfect mate, instead of trying to be the perfect mate.”
I realized, finally on a very small level, that the common denominator this whole time was me.
I was the problem.
It wasn’t that life was too hard or that women were too crazy, or that the system was rigged against me.
The problem truly was me.
I was doing nothing to be a person of value to anyone.
I wasn’t spending any time learning skills that would allow me to help anyone, not even myself.
My life was garbage, because I was acting like a piece of garbage.
So, I went back to school.
I figured if I started learning again, at least I would be on the right track.
I went into HVAC and appliance repair and started learning skills that were valuable in the marketplace.
I did not get rich, but I was amazed at how well things started going for me once I was moving in the right direction.
I had some amazing experiences and vacations with my daughter and met and married the love of my life.
There are still challenges with all of it.
I am still learning and I still make dumb mistakes on the daily.
I have become addicted to learning about opportunity, wealth, personal development, and relationships.
I seek to be better everyday so I can be of service and also because of how fulfilled I feel.
It’s not because I’m made of something different that anyone else, I just hated where I was and started moving a different direction.
I am obsessed with getting you and everyone else to see that opportunity is abundant and prosperity is a few decisions away.
I have over 115 posts on this blog about how to create the lifestyle of your dreams and how to make money online.
If you are experiencing despair and feeling like there is no way out, who’s fault is that?
I completely get the feeling, but I learned that the problem was just how I saw the world.
Once you can see that your life is of your making, it hurts, but also frees you.
Now it can be different.
If you are sitting there reading this and thinking, “yeah but that’s because, you’re (fill in the blank with something about me that makes me special) and I’m (fill in the blank with something that explains why you can’t have or be what you want), then nothing will be different.
It’s so cliche, but true:
Nothing changes until you change.
I’m not talking about you turning into someone I think you should be or what your peers think.
I’m talking about you being, having, and doing everything you desire.
It’s not going to be a life without problems or difficulties but could be fulfilling and satisfying, and help hundreds, thousands, or millions of people.
The only thing that is preventing you right now from success is you.
It’s always been true.
The successful have always said a great life is created and made, while miserable failures have always blamed others or circumstances for their situations.
I’m pretty sure that both sides have hardships, struggles, and trials.
I would rather think like the winning side.
Also, I have found it to be painfully and amazingly true in my own life.
If you keep reading this blog waiting for the best idea, you are missing the point of it altogether.
Find an idea and start taking action on it right now.
At least take a first step.
If you really feel confused about where to begin, I will tell you what I told my daughter when she was freaking out because she was starting college and didn’t know what she should study.
I said, “Pick something you think looks ok now and you can make a living and then see what you really like as you go because it’s never set in stone and you can always shift directions.”
You won’t even know if you like something unless you try it first.
It’s true.
Thank you for reading.
Phillip Adams