If you get stuck in anger or sadness, read this entire post.
This blog article explains how to move through those emotions more quickly.
So you experience everything from life, and also accomplish your goals.
Emotions are a part of life.
They are awesome when we feel joy and peace.
However, they can wreak havoc on our lives and keep us from our goals if we don’t know how to manage sadness and anger.
Emotional agility is a concept popularized by psychologist Dr. Susan David.
It refers to the ability to recognize and accept our emotions while adapting our responses to align with our values and long-term goals.
Many of us were not taught how to manage our emotions well.
I spent most of my life suppressing emotions until I would feel numb for long periods of time.
Or I would ruminate angrily over the past for days or weeks later.
I was wasting time and energy and giving my peace and power to the past.
If this sounds familiar to you, lets get started.
Understanding Emotional Agility
Emotional agility is about flexibility with our emotions and thoughts rather than suppression or denial.
It is not about eliminating negative emotions but acknowledging them as natural responses to life’s circumstances.
By accepting these emotions, we can make room for growth and self-discovery.
This is much easier said than done if you are going through something hard.
However, life was never meant to be bliss every day.
You can only enjoy happiness through the contrast of sadness.
How do you know what makes good food if you never experienced bad food?
It is necessary to have both sides of everything to appreciate it.
The Pitfalls of Emotional Rigidity
When we are emotionally rigid, we become stuck in patterns of negative thinking or behavior.
This cycle will just continue on forever if you don’t consciously do something about it.
The chemicals in your brain will continue to arouse and increase the emotion.
That’s how the brain is designed.
It wants to stay in the neural pathways that it’s already in because it requires less energy and it doesn’t want to change.
We are literally chemically addicted to the way we think.
It’s not going to change on its own.
The Role of Self-Awareness
Emotional agility begins with self-awareness – the ability to recognize and understand our emotions as they arise.
If you don’t know it’s happening, how can you even begin to change it?
Give yourself emotional check in times.
Take one minute and think consciously about how you feel.
This can be done at different times during the day.
Set an alarm on your phone for the same times every day until it becomes a habit.
This will help you know where you are at and you will see patterns based on what you were doing when you felt different emotions.
This one practice will prove very insightful for you.
Acceptance and Compassion
Emotions are not good or bad.
They are just feedback.
Of course some of them are more fun than others, but like we said before, all of them are vital for a rich life.
Also, it’s not going to help you if you self-chastise for feeling something.
Just acknowledge the feeling and accept it without judgment.
Pretend you are outside yourself and just analyze the feeling objectively.
Name the emotion.
Be clear about what it is so you really know what’s happening.
Adapting Responses
Most of the battle is now already won.
Y0u have the power to decide what you do from here.
You can feel the emotion for a while and then let it go if you want.
You can reframe it to make the experience that brought that emotion on so you feel differently about it.
Maybe it just has more meaning now.
You can change your behavior or take action that gives you a different result.
You can talk to someone that is involved or that will listen and hear you.
If it’s something that you feel like you need more tools or help, then seek some professional guidance.
You will likely know what to do once you get clear on what it is and where it came from.
Embrace Change and Uncertainty
Life is change and uncertainty.
Expect it and you will be less surprised by emotions.
Use that knowledge to transition more quickly out of stuck and fixed mindset situations.
Lean into the stuff that feels hard.
Practicing Mindfulness
Mindfulness practice will help you be more aware of what’s going on with you emotionally.
If you learn to be present, you will know when you are starting to feel emotions set in.
Sitting quietly will also give you the space to work through where those emotions are coming from.
It’s very difficult to feel that if you are always bombarded with noise.
Emotional agility is a powerful skill.
Learn to embrace your emotions.
You will more quickly transition from feeling stuck or depressed to moving back toward your goals.
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