Failure equals disappointment, shame, and defeat.
That’s a lie that is keeping you from what you could actually be.
I’m going to explain why you need to embrace failure in your life.
Learn to love the gift that failure gives you.
When I finally understood this concept, I started showing up differently.
Shifting Perspectives:
Every success has a failure story (usually several).
The stories are always inspiring and I have often wondered, “How did they get through that?”
The truth is that the “big” failure revealed the answer the person was seeking.
If you are looking for success in business or any aspect in life, it’s not all or nothing.
There’s not success and failure only.
A better way to look at it is course correction.
Let’s say you are hiking in the wilderness to a mountain peak.
You can see the peak in the distance, but there’s no trail maybe so you have to use the mountain as a landmark.
As you head toward the mountain, you run into obstacles that you cannot climb over and are forced to go around.
Well, once you get around the obstacle, you look toward the mountain and start walking again.
You don’t give up at the obstacle because it’s blocking your direct line.
You just adjust your path and continue on.
By doing this a few times, you eventually get to your destination.
This is a simple example, but I watch people give up at the first sign of an obstacle.
Imagine if we told babies to stop trying to walk after their first attempt and fall.
It seems ridiculous, but when we try something new and it doesn’t go well, how often do we just quit?
If I’m being honest, too many times.
Failure is only an obstacle used for course correction.
Cultivating Resilience:
Learning and doing hard things takes time.
Your brain has to make new pathways.
Nobody was born the best at what they do.
People are born with talent.
They have to train and learn competence.
Michael Jordan practiced basketball 6 days a week even though he was already really good.
You need to embrace the daily grind of what you are trying to learn.
The transformation is in doing, learning, and repetition.
Remember that doing what you’ve been doing got you where you are.
If you want to be somewhere else, you have to do something different, maybe for a long time.
If you only focus on the result, every day that you aren’t there is hell.
Instead, focus on getting better at what you are trying to learn.
Learning from Mistakes:
Failure offers valuable lessons that success often cannot.
If you do something right the first time, you don’t know what parts of that made the difference.
Also, it doesn’t teach you anything, and you don’t get better.
Reframe the idea of failure as feedback.
This allows you to see what is coming back to you as a gift so you can change your effort.
Analyze what didn’t work and you get insights into why.
You get better each time and pretty soon, you are really damn good.
Redefining Success:
Don’t ever believe the overnight success story.
There is almost always a long road of defeat and struggle before.
Anyone who seems to have “made it” will tell you that they are still learning.
It never ends and the best in the world keep looking for ways to further master their craft.
It’s a clichè, but the journey truly is everything.
Figure out how to make that concept a mantra and part of your belief system.
Overcoming Fear and Building Confidence:
I talk a lot about overcoming fear.
If you feel paralyzed by fear, I have a couple ideas for you.
First of all, fear is a feeling.
It will not kill you.
You can be afraid and still act.
Second, look past it.
What does it look like after the thing you are afraid of happens?
How about 5 minutes later?
What is the next week and month like?
If you can honestly look past the event and see that life continues on, then it’s gonna be ok.
When you fail, you will learn and get better.
If you are paralyzed by the fear, nothing changes.
Everything stays the same.
Embracing failure is not about seeking failure for the sake of it.
Recognize it as your catalyst for personal growth.
Acting and failing is the transformation you need to become a big enough container for everything you want.
Move toward it quickly.
That’s where the knowledge is that you need to succeed.
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